RELENTLESS
by
Chris King
EDITED PREVIEW
The Captains Cocktail Party
edit...
The Salon Staff wasted no opportunity in persuading clients to try at least something whilst on the cruise; their bonuses depended upon it. The whole place was so inviting that, at some point during their tour of duty, most of the officers also went down to experience the facilities first hand. The crew discounts were, perhaps, a stronger lure!
During my last visit, (I was desperate for a long awaited haircut) I was welcomed by a strange lingering odour similar to the fragrance you sometimes experience when assistant go overboard with the perm solution; it smothered the air. Then, after being seated in the chair I can remember suddenly becoming aware of a bubbling noise emanating from the depths of one of the specialised sinks immediately behind. I twisted slightly in the chair and unexpectedly caught sight of an ominous liquid forcibly spluttering its way out of the plughole.
To my horror, (to this day, I can still vividly picture the sight of effluent gushing into the basin) I’d discovered the plumbing was faulty and, according to my personal hairdresser, couldn’t be fixed. My ‘consultant’, South African Simon calmly announced:
“Oh, that’s alright. It’s only sewage coming up through the pipes!” Apparently, effluent bubbled up through the plughole on a regular basis! Particularly, I was further informed, out of the last sink on the right. I wasn’t at all impressed and had to comment:
“Well it’s splashing up and onto the towels next to the sink!” I was still in a state of shock and surprise as I sat and stared at the pile of clean white towels prepared for future clients; they were slowly being splattered with sludge. Simon who, throughout the entire conversation, continued to act as though the whole event was a perfectly normal and everyday occurrence, walked casually over to the offending sink, slowly removed a neatly folded pristine towel from the pile, and simply covered up the fearsome fountain. The tactic merely slightly muffled the noise: we could still hear it burbling away.
“Don’t worry, this happens very day about 4 o’clock. We’ve reported it loads of times but no one ever comes to fix it. I don’t think they can.” I listened, intrigued. “You should see us on formal afternoons when everyone comes into the salon to have their hair done and it starts gushing out sewerage.” I visualised the scene for a moment and considered the implications.
edit...
£5...downloaded to your email address
UK phone enquiries: 07961 99 89 42
|